Divine Demons

Fear of Love

It seems natural to want love in our lives. Perhaps from the moment we are conceived, we begin to learn about love – about whether we are loved, about the emotions that come with love, about the price we pay for love, about feeling unloved. Painful experiences can leave us believing that love - or all that comes with it - isn’t worth having.

Sometimes those with whom we have entrusted our love abandon or betray us. Parents, who by nature are supposed to love us, may have neglected, abused, criticized, or disappointed us. Or we may have found that in order to keep the love of another, we had to give up some or all of our True Selves - leaving us resentful and convinced that the price for love is too high.

We come into life with an open heart, wanting only to love and be loved in return. But as life’s lessons shape our beliefs, we learn to protect ourselves from pain. We build walls to keep pain out, not knowing that we simultaneously trap fear and doubt within. We put up fences that keep current or prospective loved ones at a safe distance, not knowing we are distancing ourselves from the pure joy of deep connection. We fill our schedules with activity to avoid spending time with those who try to get too close and then find ourselves feeling lonely. We carry excess weight or let our physical appearance deteriorate to discourage others from being drawn to us, then find that we dislike ourselves. We use anger to push people away so that in the safety of isolation we are never confronted with the possibility and risk of love. We set standards that are impossibly high as an excuse for not finding a suitable partner. We convince ourselves that our work is so satisfying that relationships are unnecessary for fulfillment. We consciously or unconsciously decide that love just isn’t worth the risk and shut down our desire for love. It isn’t love that we fear; it is all that (we believe) comes with love that we fear.

If you’ve drawn this card, you are ready to remove the obstacles that stand in the way of love. You are ready to fully love yourself – without strings attached. You are ready to open your heart to give and receive the love that you richly deserve.

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Consult the book Divine Demons: Reclaiming the Power of Your Destiny for exercises and suggestions for working through this issue.

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